(Read in fast paced English accent)
Well it’s been an interesting year so far to say the very least. I attended a feast and fell in love with a married woman two times older. A thief broke into my bedroom, threatened to murder me before taking my wallet, keys and car after a quite interesting conversation about life, money and strife. At least he asked if I had insurance, he seemed quite apologetic for a murderous robber…
Although he threatened with a knife I felt he was quite careful with my life, and by the tone of conversation he was obviously competent at his vocation.
I let him drive the car for the evening before reporting it stolen the next morning. He promised it wouldn’t be damaged, apparently I’m the nicest person he’d ever managed. Ha.
To my amusement the policemen found my car, two days later quite undamaged. They told me with an authoritative lisp, that they were surprised it wasn’t a crisp. I didn’t however tell them of our intriguing conversation, they wouldn’t of understood that he probably needed the sensation.
The only reason I woke up was because of his wretched putrid stink, and I’m grateful for that stink I think.
Although my new friend didn’t return my wallet and keys as I’d hoped he might, I felt I’d done a favour for a man with no money for the night – at least it avoided a fight. I think I’ll call him John for the sake of personification.
It would appear old John took a liking to my music, at least one would wish – my CD’s had been rummaged with. I wonder if he had ever heard of Fleetwood Mac before his drive – the first song in the cue was “the chain” from ’92.
I wonder where old John is now, did he find an adequate hive? No he’s probably off sucking his sole through the eye of a crack pipe like a mess – but hey, gotta get a kick out of life with nothing somehow I do guess.
Drinking a beer I pondered the New Year, and had an epiphany land on my shoulder. I feel it’s somehow related to the woman two times older, if never we had met perhaps I would’ve been more red and bolder – and then I’d end up dead, life’s a bit funny when everything’s red.